I’ve spent a lot of time today in completion ritual ~ which is actually a huge part of my practice. The power I hold in choosing when it is time to complete and when it is time to continue putting my energy into something is not to be taken lightly.
Four years ago my life shifted on its axis and it has never been the same. It led to an awakening of my soul unlike anything I had ever experienced. It also led to a falling apart and falling away of all that could not come with me on the next phase of my journey, and this included some friendships I held dear to my heart.
For some of the moving parts, this has been slower than others but I woke this morning knowing it was time to truly complete this chapter of my friendships and bless them and let it go. The formal completion is the step I take to let the past be in the past and my future truly move away from that I was once entwined with.
My completion ritual forms a whole chapter of the Reweave course, because I know the force of it is THAT powerful at creating what we truly desire.
It has taken 4 years for me to be able to grieve these friendships fully, the betrayal on all sides, that pain that I held in my heart of unspoken words and untold truths. The anger and resentment of not feeling seen or heard, loved or supported through some of my darkest days has woven through my weeks sometimes strongly, other times almost non-existent, but still lurking there like a snake ready to pounce.
You cannot wish this process away, it is a grieving and a letting go, for me, it was not just of the friendships, but of the version of me that existed back then. More naive, more willing to give to much of herself, a people pleasure who just wanted love. I was hurting for that wounded version of myself that couldn’t let go of what she perceived was done to her.
Grief seems to be quite misunderstood, we expect really to only grieve when someone we love transitions through death, yet we all live small and large deaths throughout our lives and any loss can invoke painful, sudden and powerful feelings of grief. This was a learning for me in this. One I am deeply grateful for, I learned compassion for myself and the others through this process.
The reality is always different from what we see, and today I can love that version of me, see where she is and choose to stay here with the version of me that I am today. In love, strong, powerful.
A woman who made some courageous and brave choices to take her life into her own hands. I celebrate her. It was me who betrayed myself, for all these years, it has been me hurting me. I forgive her. I allowed other people’s opinions to matter more than my heart for too long, and that continued even after I became aware I was doing it as well. I complete that today.
So mote it be. x