Everyone says that, don’t they? Their life has been changed by this one thing, so everyone should try it. And they aren’t lying, because I believe there are many different things that can shift your perception and change your life. And it’s different for every single person on earth. We are none of us the same. In fact, this is part of the reason I have been so turned off courses that promise the same outcome for each person who partakes. I suppose cooking classes can claim that, well maybe even not that, I know people who can burn water!
The most resonant choice for me right now is around freedom in my life. It has become one area I refuse to compromise on, opening and opening to the point of where I am free. In everything. My love, my parenting, my chores, my life. It comes back to living from this place of desire. A place that holds me safe, not in a cage of my (or anyone else’s) making, but in my very freedom in choosing to be exactly where I am, doing exactly what I desire to do.
I had a conversation with a friend the other day, who asked me ‘I have heard what you say about living from a place of desire and that sounds so amazing, but what do you do about the day to day running of a house? There are things I just hate doing and I could never see them as a desire led choice.’ I had to think for a minute because I remember thinking this exact same thing when Alchemy was new to my life and I didn’t even believe I could have desires, allow them to be the sole informant of my life. My answer was interesting to me as well as to my beautiful friend.
When my husband and I separated, I realised that there were so many things I had been doing in my life from habit. I didn’t want to do them, I hated doing them and I just knew it was time to stop everything I was doing to find out what I really wanted. I didn’t dust my house for weeks (not great when you have asthma), I checked out of going to the kids school, I signed notes the day they due instead of being organised, dinners became frozen veg instead of fruit platters and exotic dishes.
I stopped all my SHOULDS.
And what I learnt from that was what I actually desired. I desired a beautiful, clean and tidy home, so in dusting it, I was taking the action towards my desire. I never desire to be THAT behind in washing again, so from that I removed about 50% of the clothes from the house, and now I take the action of washing every day. Not because I have to, I don’t. But because I desire to have no washing baskets around my house, and this structure supports me the most efficiently in this. The one thing I have learned about desire and living from them is that you have to be deeply truthful, to yourself as well as others, in the process of discovering what you desire. And that can be the hardest bit.
The one thing that helps me keep connecting to myself is the question ‘what would you love?’ I ask myself this every day, a million times. Because only I get to decide what I would love. Only I get to tell myself that. But if I don’t know what I would love, it is much easier to suddenly feel that I SHOULD love something else.