I’m not sorry
what I deserve.
and I’m not afraid
to walk away to find it
– r.h. Sin
Humans are incredible creatures. We have such a capacity for love and kindness, and also for destruction and pain. Lately I have been working deeply on deconstructing my own internal structures that have been set up by my society, my family, myself and others over my whole life. We all have these areas of ourselves that we have never questioned, that we accept without even looking at, cages we have created for ourselves that are never held to light and enquired onto. Are they even serving us?
I see this everywhere now, once you are aware of it, there is not a chance to put it down and walk away. I see the internalised patriarchy, where white supremacy and privilege runs, its been curious to see how we hold not just ourselves back with this, but also the whole of humanity. It’s important to make it clear here that I am here to speak the truth as I see it from this moment on. There has been a turn lately in the Spiritual Circles asking us white women to address where we are not bringing attention to our internalised discriminations (including white supremacy and privilege) and I have watched these requests go unnoticed and ignored time after time. I have also seen women begin to question themselves and start to really do the work.
What I would love for women everywhere is for them to truly know themselves. And to love themselves even in and with their shadows. This is the work, to support women to unpack their shadows, because as we clean ourselves up we can truly be of service to others. Once we address and unpack and truly honour our traumas, our taboos, our triggers and our privileges we can start to see where we haven’t been bringing our true selves to our lives. We can also use this self enquiry to deeply unpack our cages and where we assume we aren’t free.
I have dedicated this year to softening into my freedoms and my cages, to turn everything over and explore what I would deeply love. I have already learnt so so much, and I am going to be writing about it as I go along. It would be awesome for you to join me as unpack some parts of me that I would rather hide away.
One thing I have already learned is that its okay to be a white woman in the world, and no-one wants to make me feel bad about the colour of my skin. What I do need to do is acknowledge where I benefit from the colour of my skin and do what I can to dismantle that, actively, every day. I invite you to also unpack some of this as well. Over the next few days I will be adding an area with articles, podcasts and Patreon creatives that have helped me begin this process.